Happy GOOD FRIDAY!!!!
well, okay. not exactly happy cos its a sad day for Jesus but..... its actually a happy day for us.
because He had to die so the rest of us can live. so technically.... its happy for us.
please PLEASE PLEASE read til the end.
or at least at the last few paragraphs...
aren't you amazed at our God who never stops with his goodness???
I was kind of pissed off and really frustrated this afternoon.not at anybody. just at myself. if only i had longer legs T.T
didn't know the good friday service was at 5. thought it'd be at 7 or something. by the time i found out, i had to change really fast and ran out. the whole time i was praying to God to stop the bus and make it wait for me.
I'd missed TWO buses even though I walked superly fast all the way to the bus stop, but... i missed the first one just as it passed and the second one because I wasn't sure if that bus could be taken. I wanted to take the taxi but... since the church's about 1hour plus away by bus.... imagine how much the taxi fare would've been... -.- 50+?
just when i was about to give up, the bus that'd go to the church came. but...........................
i was at the wrong stop -.-
it stopped a street away and I was like... -.-
i decided i'll walk there cos.....i was sure i would miss the bus since it was a traffic light away and by the time i reach the stop, the bus would've left. so i just walked there instead of running, thinking there's no way i'd make it in time.
but weirdly.... though i was walking there....
the whole time i was praying
'God make the bus wait for me. wait for me. make it wait til I reach there'
I was so sure i would not be able to reach the bus even if i ran to it so i didnt even bother to walk fast or run.
but.....
of all things, by the time i reached the street the bus was still there!!!
so then i thought....
dash. i better run and try see if i can catch it. it's been there for so long and i've been praying that God would stop the bus and make it wait for me and now that He's done it.... i'm not even bothered to RUN for it???
so i started to run but..........................................
i was SO SO SO VERY VERY close to the bus. like 5-10steps to reach the front door.... then the bus started pulling away.
i was like.......
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so freaking mad
i banged on the side of the bus cos i've seen people do it and normally if the bus driver hears you, he'd stop the bus. but the driver probably didnt hear me.
i was so freaking pissed off cos of all the running and everything.
i was raging to God 'Are you freaking kidding me????? i ran all the way here and you didnt make the bus wait for ONE second longer???? just ONE????'
i tried calling my dad cos i wanted to rage at him (hehe. sorry. punching bag) and tell him all the reasons why i will NOT be going to the service no matter what. i was blaming God and thinking if Jesus really wants me to go to the service, he'd send someone to fetch me there or at least make the bus stop. i think i was so sure there was no way i'd be going to the service so i kinda said (in my head) that unless there's someone to fetch me, i'll just go back home. dont want go to the service. all the fuss for nothing.
thinking back...... that was the worst thing i could've done. to blame God when it wasn't even his fault at all. i should've tried finding out what time the service was instead of assuming it'd be at 7 and once i found out, i should've run to the bus stop instead of walking fast. and once i saw the third bus coming, even though in my head i kept telling God to stop it for me, i was thinking... He'd PROBABLY wouldnt do it so I didnt even TRY to catch the bus until the last minute. it was pretty weird of me. to ask God make the bus wait, and when He did make the bus wait, i didnt even try to see if i can catch it. He provided the opportunity for me but I didnt even try to grab it. i just assumed it wouldnt happen so i didnt bother trying.
and when i finally decided to try and i couldnt catch it, i blamed God..... i decided not to go to the service out of spite. i was thinking. hmph. u didnt help me so i wont go. but all this while..... it was all about what God can do FOR me. and when He did it... I didnt try. I didnt think of what I should be doing....
but...........................
as always...............................
Our incredibly big hearted God.
my awesome awesome Heavenly Father
is the God who never stops.
always ready with another chance for us to grab.
to continue on with my story,
just after i missed the bus,
there was an old man in a car nearby and he said something like 'miss the bus?'
maybe he said more but i dont know. i'm a bit hesitant to talk to people on the streets because some of them can be really weird and according to my lecturer, you see quite a number of schizophrenic people there. so i just ignored him and hoped he would ignore me.
i turned away to look at the bus stop timetable and suddenly an old lady was talking to me.
she asked if i wanted a ride cos they saw me running towards the bus and missed it.
i was a bit stunned to tell you the truth. never happened in my life before. someone offering to drive me though they dont know me???
i dont know them either and was a bit reluctant to go with them. the old man i ignored was waiting in the car. i told them the place i wanted to go was one hour away so it'd be too far for them to drive me. but the lady kept insisting and she said the next bus would be one hour later so....
then she offered to drive me at least past the bus i wanted to get on. to try catching up with the bus and stop ahead of it so i can get on it.
i was a bit.... hesitant cos.....
i mean.... you watch on all those crime shows and well..... that's how some people get killed. getting on random stranger's car. like... what if they want to torture me or something... and the car was a 2 door car so if there was no way i'd be able to escape if i wanted to....
but in the end.. since she kept insisting and the next bus was a long time to come, i decided to go with them.
we had to drive quite a distance cos... hehe... due to my stubborn-ness, and 'tou tou muo muo', the bus had gone quite a distance.
it was a long time before we finally managed to catch up with the bus. i kept telling them i dont mind if they dropped me off along the road and i'll try to find my way cos we had gone quite a distance and not in the direction of their home but they said there was no way they'd drop me off in the middle of the road when i dont know my way.
when we passed the bus, they stopped at the side and waited til the bus came and the man got down and helped me flagged it and waited til i was inside before he walked away.
honestly.... that was the most touching thing that's ever happened to me. here i was criticizing God for not making things work when...... it was me who did not make an effort to work with Him.
is God not the most awesome-est EVER???
sending people to help whenever we're in need...
its a bit weird that they were at the side of the road waiting cos they were in the city and you're normally not allowed to park at the side of the busy road like that. i still dont know why they were parked there. but darn. dont know why i didnt ask them. I think God somehow had them waiting there though they don't know why. they had just came back from a church service which was at another part of town so it was weird that their car was there on that road when they were headed to another direction....
When He gave His Son to die for us... how could I still have doubted Him...
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